Something's Gotta Give
by The Exile
Summary: Irresistable force meets immovable object when the Ultimate Chimera tries to eat the Absolutely Safe Capsule.


A spherical metal object about the same size as the Ultimate Chimera rolled past. He didn't know what it was, so he pounced on it and ate it.

It went 'CLANG!'. His teeth slid along the smooth surface, creating a hideous metal screeching noise that made nails scraping down a blackboard sound like the most melodious bird in the history of the Universe, before snapping together like a giant bear trap. It hurt like hell. What was worse, the object was unharmed. It had bounced across the room when he spat it out and was now slowly rolling along the ground again. There wasn't even a scratch on it. This made him absolutely furious. Not that he didn't want to kill everything he met before but now he wanted to kill them all because he was angry, not in case they were edible.

He opened his terrible fanged maw, which comprised most of his body, and roared. Most creatures would have fled or been paralysed in terror by the sound of his voice, which sounded like Giygas being fed through an industrial cheese grater, but the tiny yellow bird perched atop his on/off switch was used to it. His symbiotic partner instinctively understood his need. It hopped across his back to reach his power lever, which it grabbed in one foot and pulled down from 'medium' to 'maximum'. Roaring again in case the Universe hadn't understood exactly how angry he was with it the first time, he charged.

He rammed straight into the sphere. It tried to roll away again but he kept on going, herding it into a corner. With all his weight on it, the object finally stopped moving. What looked like a little human face was staring out at him. It looked suitably terrified. He dimly remembered that the face was often a weak point on such animals. He opened his mouth to take a bite out of the hated object.

As soon as he took his front paws off it, it spun out of control again. Somehow, he had managed to push it so that it rebounded off the wall and was flung backwards. He tried to jump out of the way, snapping at it and swinging his claws as a warning. Suddenly, everything went dark.

When he next woke up, he lay on the floor. The bird was chirping at him in distress and pecking at his on/off switch. The object was behind him, gently rolling across the floor. He dimly remembered seeing it roll towards him as he tried to jump out of its way. He wondered if it had rolled over him and switched him off.

It the ultimate insult. He hadn't known he was capable of it, as nothing had pushed him this far before, but he was even angrier. Far angrier than he had been with the monkeys, the small human and the scientist who liked hiding in the bin. At least they had used strategy instead of just rolling over him like he wasn't even there.

He hadn't had that good a day to begin with. The scientists who usually came to feed him hadn't come. Then there was a loud noise that wouldn't go away. Things were starting to look up when his cage door opened and he discovered he was free. He had managed to eat a lot of the other Chimeras and quite a few of the scientists before they all escaped. Then they had left the front door open so he could wander into the forest and find more food. Everything seemed more agitated than usual. They were running away, all of them, even the ones who hadn't spotted him. What were they running away from? He was curious but couldn't imagine that it was scarier than him. If it came after him, he could kill it and eat it. Then he had ended up here and everything got worse again. He remembered a large fire of some kind, then a hole in the middle of the forest, then falling through darkness for a long time. When he could see again, he was there, in the middle of this cave that was devoid of food. There were things made of rock that tasted about as appealing as rock, there were glowing things that crackled and set his fur on edge when he tried to eat them, and there was this round thing.

Oh My Pork (as he had heard the scientists say), how he** loathed **the round thing!

The bird let out a loud chirp of alarm. He growled and looked behind him. The round thing had rolled over to the edge of the rocky ledge they were all stood on. It was about to fall straight off! He couldn't have that. It was his prey. No, it was his mortal enemy. He now cared about it even more than he did about food. He must be the one to kill it!

He ran. The sphere was close to the edge but it was also very slow._ If he could get there in time..._

Somehow, he made it. He found himself between the cliff edge and the sphere. He planted his hind legs on the ground, opened his mouth and braced himself. He was prepared, this time. He wouldn't underestimate the sphere's capacity to roll over things. If he didn't use as much force, he wouldn't accidentally send it flying but could wedge it in place.

He nudged it away in the opposite direction with his nose, resisting the urge to enjoy the new game. It WOULD be eaten. It had to have a weak point. Everything did.


End file.
